My relationship with myself is a growing priority for me. I’d like it to be my number one priority, but that seems to be easier said than done. There are so many layers to building my relationship with myself which I’m just getting started with, but so far a big part of it has been time alone.
It feels selfish saying I want to be my biggest priority. Obviously there are times and situations where this isn’t possible for everyone, and I am fortunate that I am able to choose myself at the moment. But I am choosing not to feel selfish about this. Because I shouldn’t. We shouldn’t. For me, being “selfish” in this way actually allows me to give more to the world. When I feel fulfilled, rested and aligned I’m able to show up fully for others and in what I do.
Have you ever taken a day to yourself?
This week I took a day for me. A whole day. I took it at my own pace. Spent time pottering at home. Getting things done that felt good to do. Then took myself out for the rest of the day. Wandered. Got lunch at a cafe (thank u govt for 50% off). Removed expectations for the day and for myself. Socially or otherwise.
These days never end up being quite as I expect. But they often involve a few coincidences that are too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence. I allow my brain to shut down a little and I make my decisions slightly more intuitively. I let myself be guided by something other than my rational mind. I make lose plans and then let my intuition lead me. And the universe shows up. These days vary wildly, but they almost always end up being exactly what I need. (Even if I don’t realise it at the time).
Time this week allowed me to recharge. To check in with myself. To realign. Sometimes I need an hour. Sometimes I need a whole day. Safe to say this week I needed the whole day and it felt GOOD.
Making the time
Most of what I share is something I’ve learnt or am learning. So if spending so much time alone in such a busy world seems wild to you. I feel ya. This week I did well but the last couple of weeks I think I’d done a little too much. I have lived periods of my life where the prospect of taking a whole day freely to myself seemed like madness. There simply weren’t enough hours in the week. I had countless obligations and to-dos.
And I think I’ll probably always feel a bit like that. As a people pleaser, saying no isn’t easy for me, and the world always has something else to demand your energy, but I’m hoping it’ll get easier. I’m proud of myself for setting boundaries and not feeling guilty about them this week. I’d rather show up less and show up fully, aligned and rested, than spread myself so thin that I’m there in person but not in spirit.
With the social and work calendar suddenly filling back up post-lockdown, its been tempting to want to do everything. So my calendar is filling up, but I’m trying to also hold space for myself. And I hope you do too.
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